Some of my favorite (not) Christian contradictions


Peggeen here. These are some of the most frequent or most mindblowing contradictions I’ve encountered in talking with Christians:

  • If your friend’s child dies, it’s “because god wanted another little angel in heaven.”* If your enemy’s child dies it’s “because god is punishing him for his evil.”
  • If your cancer goes into remission it’s “because I have faith.” If your cancer returns, it’s never “because I don’t have any faith.”**
  • Conversation: “Why didn’t god stop the 9/11 hijackers?” “Oh, you wouldn’t want god to interfere with free will would you?” “So you’re telling me he stood by and let the freewill of 3,000 victims be absolutely wiped out in order to preserve the freewill of 19 hijackers?” [… crickets …]
  • I used to ask hard, but very sincere, questions of Christians. I really, deeply longed to know what god wanted, and how others had the secret of “finding god” when, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. When the answers were unsatisfying (or, from the Christian’s point of view, when I was “too stubborn to hear the truth”), the conversation would often conclude with the believer saying to me, “God can’t get through to you when you’re resisting so hard!” Wait. Hold on. You’re telling me that I am so strong that the all-powerful god, the god whose fondest wish is to bring me into his fold, the god who is trying his all-mighty best to get through to me, cannot penetrate past my doubts? Wow. I should hire myself out to halt volcano eruptions, earthquakes, and tsunamis. Because if l’il ole’ me can thwart the most fundamental power of the Almighty without even trying, surely I can stop such minor, localized works of god.

    * Sometimes it’s “because god is testing your faith.” And indeed you should question your faith when dealing with a being who would torture a child merely to conduct a test whose outcome he, being omniscient, already knows.

    ** Although, of course, if your enemy gets cancer, it’s probably “because he didn’t have any faith” or ye olde “because god is punishing him for his evil.”

4 Responses to “Some of my favorite (not) Christian contradictions”

  1. justasqpeg Says:

    I saw someone post this on facebook today after the Colorado movie massacre:
    The farther away from God we get……. The more like animals we become. Today just proves it. So sad for those family s ……May God comfort them 😦

    So, animals act like this? I don’t think so. In fact, very often you’ll find that people who commit these acts think they are chosen by god to carry out his will. Kind of like when some old guy believes god told him to sacrifice his son, but is told “Just kidding” in the nick of time. Closeness to god doesn’t prevent evil acts like this.

    I’m not saying this had anything to do with the Aurora massacre, but to pretend it didn’t without knowing the facts is crazy.

    To respond to one of your points, sometimes when your cancer returns, it is “to teach you to trust god”. Yeah, I’m going to learn to trust an entity who has the power to prevent things like this, but who chooses not to. Yeah…. I guess wife-beaters do what they do to teach their wives to “trust” them. Makes perfect sense to… well, someone, not me.

  2. Squarepeggeen Says:

    I suppose it was predictable that somebody would pin that shooting on “godlessness” without waiting for any of the facts.

    You remind me of something I was going to put into a blog, but might as well put here, instead.

    I have a friend whose grown son has given her a lifetime of grief. He’s a drug user (his own business, far as I’m concerned) who finances his habit via burglary (which makes it everybody else’s business). Like most mothers, my friend is ever-hopeful that her boy is about to turn around.

    Her latest happy news is that he’s teaching the bible to one of his cellmates in prison “who has never heard the word of the Lord.”

    The thing is … the thing she isn’t saying and will never say, is that her wayward boy didn’t reform and find god after going to prison (a dubious proposition, in any case). No. He’s been a bible-believing xtian the entire time he’s been committing burglaries.

    Yep, The Christian Burglar!

    And I agree, he joins a long line of Christians who have done far worse things, many of them driven by the certainty that god wants them to kill, rape, and pillage in his name.

  3. Squarepeggeen Says:

    Oh yeah. The Abraham and Isaac “just kidding” thing? The only proper response to a god who says “Thou shalt not kill” then orders you to kill is … well, ladies don’t say those words. Heck, the only proper response to a god who orders you to kill an innocent is … words ladies don’t say.

    And don’t even get me started on what that bastard did to Job — all for the sake of a cheap gambler’s bet with the god’s comrade (and god’s creation) Satan.

  4. Squarepeggeen Says:

    So much for the “godless” murderer. He was a church-goer from a church-going family. Might have fallen away at some time, but was not a product of “godless” upbringing or culture.

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