Kids and their curiosity about death


I can almost understand why people would lie to their children concerning religious things- especially when death enters the conversation..

My daughter, who will be 5 later in the summer, asks about death fairly often (I suspect because her mom uses a lot of death imagery when she bitches whines talks).  I’m not comfortable with death and I am certainly not comfortable discussing it with my daughter.  But I do.  As honestly as I can, and without displaying (I hope) any of my own discomfort.  She deserves my best effort.

It would be so much easier to say “Well, Honey, people die and go to Heaven where they are happy forever, and when you die you can see them all again.”  But, you and I both know that’s a lie.  A comforting lie, but still a lie.

I can also see why it would be so easy to say to a grieving kid “Scratchy is in Doggy Heaven now, lying in the warm sun with all the dirty underwear he can chew.  He’s happy.”

But I try to be honest with her now so she will know I will give the straight answers later.

So, instead of saying the easy thing, I answer any questions she may ask to the best of my ability and say “I don’t know” when I don’t know.  I have told her that she wasn’t alive before she was born, and that it wasn’t anything to be afraid of.  “It wasn’t scary and didn’t hurt then, did it?”  I suppose I can go into greater detail later when she asks for more details.

It’s still not a topic I enjoy, but I hope maybe my words now will get through later and bring some sort of comfort when needed.

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