Archive for October, 2008

To My Love

October 31, 2008

I couldn’t sleep last night.  All I could think of was you.  It sucks.
I hate that you are married to someone else.  I hate that I have this flaming hole in my heart that has been there since I knew you were leaving me.  I hate that it never gets any less painful.  But I did this to myself and have no one else to blame.  I hate that too.  But one thing I don’t hate, and NEVER will, is you.
I love you.

I sent that to her in an email.  She answered right away.  The really bad thing is that she is not happy.  She admits it.  But she says “But it is what it is.”  Yes, but some things CAN be fixed, my love.  I’ll keep hoping.  It’s all I can do.

Hateful “Women”

October 21, 2008

I was sitting in a fast food restaurant today and overheard some women chatting.  I didn’t hear what was said before this part, so I don’t know what led them to start on this subject, but they were discussing other women.

Anyway, the women were sitting behind me so I hadn’t seen them.  The one started complaining about women who wear clothes that reveal “too much”.  She said she calls them “Homewreckers, because that is all they are.”

She said “that is why women in bars dress like that.  They are throwing their lives away.” Then she started bragging “I told my husband that if he wants to drink, he can stay home and drink.  That way if he passes out, he is already home!”  I also heard the “unsaid” bit: and that way he won’t be around those homewreckers!

At this point, I got curious about what this woman looked like, so I sneaked a peek.  Yep.  Ugly as the south end of a northbound warthog.

Here’s a suggestion, woman. If you don’t want your husband looking at other women, make an effort to look like a female.  Stop hating attractive women.  It is not their “fault” that they are atttractive; they work at it.  Any woman can look unattractive if they try.  Haven’t you ever seen any of those “ugly duckling” movies where the heroine suddenly blossoms and all they guys notice her for the first time?  Well, it is possible for anyone to look better or worse, depending on how they dress, take care of themselves, and how they feel inside.  Stop blaming other women for your shortcomings and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEM.

Guys will look at attractive women.  You can fight it.  You can deny it.  You can hate it.  But you can not change it without killing your man.  Embrace it and USE it to your advantage.  It will make your life better and make your guy happier.  Jealousy helps no one and makes you look like a controlling fool.

Her “Dream”

October 11, 2008

So…. the other day PseudoGirlfriend says she didn’t sleep well.  I asked why and she said she dreamed I was trying to kill her.  I asked why.  She said she dreamed I was cheating on her and she found out.  When I found out that she knew, I decided to kill her. 

I just rolled my eyes and stopped paying attention.  She is disturbed.  I doubt she even had a dream.  It is just her way of saying “don’t cheat on me even though any reasonable person would!”

No One Else wants to Hear It Anymore….

October 7, 2008

It seems that once you reach the point where you realize no one wants to hear the narratives of your life, you are done.

That is where this blog comes in.

The stories that no one else wants to hear may end up here.  The loves, the loves lost, the near misses, the alien abductions, whatever.

Yet Another Reason to be an Atheist

October 4, 2008

One of my sisters is a lesbian.  My parents are conservative Christian/ religious right.  My sister has not had any contact with my parents for several years after a less than enthusiastic response to coming out.  She talks to me sporadically regardless.
Anyway, a couple nights ago she decided to call them.  I know part of the reason is that she is in real financial trouble and is looking for some help.  About a year ago she and her g/f bought a house in the Los Angeles area.  You can imagine the price of a house there.  Anyway, two weeks after they closed on it, she lost her job of 5 years.  She had worked at the LA Gay and Lesbian Center, which caused my parents much grief.  She has been working temp jobs since then, but doesn’t speak spanish and has been passed over for jobs because of that.  They are getting behind on the house payments and are in danger of forclosure.
She told my mom all this during their 2 hour conversation.
So the next day my mom was talking on the phone to my other religious extremist sister and mentioned that she had been praying that God would get the other sister out of that job, and she was glad that her prayers had been answered a year ago without her knowing.  I was livid, but held my tongue.  How can anyone think that anything other than an evil deity would answer a prayer that would harm an innocent person so badly?  I am still pissed.  And people wonder why I am an atheist.